I've spent a lot of time reflecting at these butterfly bushes, waiting for a yellow butterfly to come by and remind me of my Briggs.

I've searched for understanding, for answers, for some inkling of a greater purpose. I've questioned truths, searched my heart for some hidden sin that could've caused what seems to be such a punishment. Did I take life's blessings for granted? Am I to blame?

In my wandering I've realized however, that grief has a way of playing tricks on your mind. It causes you to go places you've never been - to question, to point fingers. It creates doubt and fear, replaces soundness with chaos. And in these moments, in the darkness of our grief, we lose sight of God and what His Word tells us.

What does His word tell us? When all hope seems lost, what is His promise? Redemption. His redemption is plenteous and with Him there is mercy. We can find rest in this, in His very word.

Grief is no place for seeking life's many wonders, as my father so wisely said to me just recently. This is the time for healing, and what better place to heal than in the arms of Jesus?

“Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: For thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.” Psalm‬ ‭25:5‬ ‭